


New Year's

by they_hear_the_music



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 22:28:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5603263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/they_hear_the_music/pseuds/they_hear_the_music
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You mind some company?" Enjolras asked and Grantaire could feel his stomach drop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Year's

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thesewersofparis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesewersofparis/gifts).



> okay yeah I know I should be working on the missing calendar doors but this just came over me

Grantaire managed to light his cigarette despite the wind blowing over Jehan's balcony, tousling his hair and rustling the countless plants that covered the small space. From behind him he heard the muffled sounds of his friends' laughter and shrieks, probably Courfeyrac still on his mission to kiss all his friends before the party ended. There were still a few lonely fireworks going off here and there, briefly coloring the sky before darkness swallowed the city again.

Grantaire had assumed that no one had noticed him slipping away, but when he heard the balcony door open and someone carefully stepping outside, he realized that he must have been wrong.

"You mind some company?" Enjolras asked and Grantaire could feel his stomach drop. Out of all his friends Enjolras was the last person he wanted to be around right now. Not because he disliked Enjolras' presence, no, that's something he sought out most of the time, but right now Grantaire could feel the mask he needed to protect himself from Enjolras already breaking, leaving himself and his melancholy open and vulnerable.

Taking Grantaire's lack of an answer as approval Enjolras stepped closer, resting his forearms on the handrail. Grantaire glanced at his face to see a content expression that was only rarely displayed on Enjolras' angelic features and a smudge of Courfeyrac's lipstick high on his cheek. Enjolras was looking ahead, his eyes shining in the sudden light of firework going off a few blocks over. Grantaire looked away again, taking the last drag of his cigarette and stubbing it out in the ashtray Jehan kept on the balcony. He buried his hands in his pockets more because he didn't know what to do with them now that he wasn't holding a cigarette anymore rather than because of the mild cold of this winter.

He couldn't say how long they were standing there, it could have been only seconds or hours, until Enjolras broke the silence.

"Any new years resolutions?" Enjolras asked and a part of Grantaire wanted to laugh at that. Enjolras trying to make small talk was not a common occurrence and usually incredibly funny to watch, but right now Grantaire just wanted him to leave while at the same time finding himself incapable of asking him to.

"No," he said instead, not looking at Enjolras. "Don't really see the point."

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Enjolras nod. "Me neither."

Silence fell again and Grantaire could feel the awkwardness of the situation making his skin itch. Why wasn't Enjolras leaving?

Something shattered behind them in the living room, making them both flinch.

"It's four in the morning," Enjolras said, shaking his head. "You'd think they would have calmed down by now."

Grantaire wanted to make a joke about how their friends usually never calmed down, but he found himself incapable.

"You don't have to do this," he said instead, his voice quiet.

He could feel Enjolras' eyes on him.

"Do what?" he asked surprised.

Grantaire opened his mouth and closed it again.

"I'm not good company right now, you don't have to stay here," he finally said.

Enjolras was still looking at him but Grantaire didn't dare to turn his head, knowing that he was not able to hold Enjolras' gaze right now without giving away too much. Too much about how hopeless he felt about the new year, his life, his future, too much about how he wished Enjolras could mend him somehow but knowing that Grantaire was the one who had to pick up the pieces of himself and not someone else, too much of how he felt like he couldn't, too much of how he felt like he was not enough.

"If you want me to go, I'll go," Enjolras said, his tone careful and Grantaire could have sworn he saw his hand twitch like he wanted to reach out to him but had to stop himself. "But if you don't mind I will stay."

"Whatever suits you," Grantaire said.

Enjolras' shoulder grazed Grantaire's arm when Enjolras turned to look ahead again and Grantaire was suddenly very aware of how close they had ended up standing. He really hoped Enjolras hadn't noticed how his breathing quickened a bit at the realization.

They were quiet again, for the first time in comfortable silence and Grantaire found himself to be glad Enjolras hadn't left. Enjolras was a weird friend to have, intense in his opinions and his ideals, awkward in his interactions and fierce in his caring. They hadn't been friends at first, both having to get used to someone who at the first glance seemed to be the complete opposite of the other. Grantaire had been attracted to Enjolras from the beginning but had truly fallen for him much later after they had both stopped to see the other as an obscuring mirror showing Enjolras all he wanted to fight in Grantaire and showing Grantaire all he couldn't be in Enjolras.

Grantaire's breathing evened out again and he was just about to ask Enjolras if he minded Grantaire lighting another cigarette when Enjolras spoke himself.

"You know, New Year's always makes me hopeful. It seems to have the opposite effect on you."

Grantaire turned his head surprised and found Enjolras looking at him. Enjolras really noticed a lot more than Grantaire often gave him credit for. His grey eye's were calm and searching as if Grantaire was a puzzle he couldn't quite solve. Grantaire wasn't sure how he felt about that.

"I don't know if you noticed but I tend to not be hopeful about a lot of things," Grantaire told him.

A light laugh escaped Enjolras' lips and he smiled, straightening up so his and Grantaire's eyes were on the same level, looking back at him fondly. "Yeah, I think I might have noticed from time to time," he said.

Grantaire let out a snort and turned his head, not quite able to hold Enjolras' gaze when he was looking at him like Enjolras was the lucky one to have found him and not the other way around. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Enjolras turn ahead as well, their shoulders still close enough so they were almost touching.

Enjolras' fingertips ghosted over Grantaire's wrist and when he didn't draw away, Enjolras carefully pulled Grantaire's hand out of his pocket and took it into his own, intertwining their fingers. Enjolras' hand was cold but Grantaire still felt like his skin was burning at the contact. This wasn't the first time they had held hands, Enjolras from time to time seeking physical contact by putting his head on Grantaire's shoulder or taking his hand. But this time Grantaire was sure that Enjolras was not seeking contact for himself but for Grantaire's sake and Grantaire allowed himself a small smile.

Let the new year be better, as shitty as the last year or worse, Grantaire wouldn't have to face it by himself but with the people who loved him at his side.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [here on tumblr](http://they-hear-the-music.tumblr.com) come and say hi


End file.
